Monday, November 14, 2011

Lessons

I've been thinking about this blog post for a few days. The growing and learning lessons just keep coming lately for our whole family! Takeshi and I have had new challenges with Kai at school and although we have jumped in with both feet, the lessons keep coming..... for us....adults.

Up 'till now our parenting has mostly been like this.... say please and thank you, take your foot off the table, don't lie, obey right away, clean your room, don't push your brother/sister! Kind of simple parenting now that I think about it. Kai has now come upon a lot more heart and attitude issues that Takeshi and I have had to talk him through. The strange and awesome thing is.... God has been talking with us about the same issues as adults - I guess they are life lessons.

Takeshi and I have been working with Kai on being a good listener to his friends and asking them questions about things that interest them. Kai wore one of his Lil' Kickers shirts to school and came home telling me about how he told all his classmates that his daddy works here! He was happy to share about playing soccer with his daddy! It was the perfect moment to say "Kai did you ask your friends what they like to do with their daddy?" "No" Kai said. I know he's only 7, and these are social life lessons we all get to learn..... people love to talk and don't always listen readily. So that night over dinner we did a funny role play between Noah and Kai. Noah talked about his school and Kai was a good listener then Noah asked Kai about his school and listened to Kai answer. Oh goodness! Such a simple idea but we all need to practice this I'm learning!

God is talking to me through my children!!!! I SOOOOO need to listen better, be a better friend and ask more questions showing I care about what my friends care about! This is just one lesson, there have been a handful that I've been sifting through this last week.

I see in Kai, myself, and my struggles. Kai loves to appear to have it all figured out. I'm the same. I don't have it all together. I asked myself.... when was the last time I told anyone besides Takeshi that I had a bad day? Showing honest vulnerability is hard for me with friends. Now, I see we are raising children to carry on those same characteristics. My eyes were opened to how showing my emotions and challenges more can actually bring me closer to friends! Wow!

Just a few thoughts.... :)


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Soft Heart


It's not easy watching your children go through difficult times. Takeshi and I have watched Kai struggle with first grade peers at school. His studies have been good but he has not found a good friend yet. Last week he cried when I didn't walk him to his class door. I had gotten stuck moving a little slower while walking with Emmi and we got separated. I didn't think much about it, he knows where his class is just fine. The next day his teacher told me he was crying in class because he didn't say good-bye to me. I was so surprised! When I asked him about it he said, "Well we always say good-bye. My whole life we have been together so I just wanted to give you a hug." He is such a soft hearted boy lately!

Then Monday my neighbor took him to school in the morning and just 5 min. later called me to say Kai was crying at school and didn't want to go! I had her bring him back home and Takeshi and I talked with him. We got out of him through the tears that the school work is hard and he feels overwhelmed and some kids have said they don't want to be his friend anymore. I wanted to cry with him but didn't. I'm glad Takeshi was home so I didn't have to talk with him alone. We talked about an hour and then Takeshi took him back when the tears were gone. Talking seems to ease his little heart.

We've been e-mailing his teacher and talking a lot more when he comes home from school. I think his little heart just wants a best friend. So many of the kids speak Spanish in his class. He is one of the only boys that doesn't speak the language, that may isolate him.

I don't know what to think. Takeshi and I have gone from "Oh he's fine!" to "Let's think about a new school". We would never move him.... it's just our parent hearts hurting for him. We have been praying for him daily and with him each morning before he leaves. That encouragement seems to be helping! God has him in his hands and we have to trust our baby will grow and be strong from all the social lessons he's learning. Time will tell! We are hoping 1st grade turns a good corner soon!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Kai, Noah and Emmi





It's been a full week with kid stuff!
Monday started with Halloween and Noah just getting over being sick. I was glad I didn't have to tell him that he'd have to miss all the candy grabbing! Noah was right up there running with the rest of the kids, thankfully! Kai was Spider Man, Noah was the Flash and Emmi was Tinkerbell. The weather was cold but no rain.... Yeah! We have gobs and gobs of candy and Takeshi and I are helping the kids by eating a few pieces each evening. :)

Emmi has "big girl panties" on now! This is the big news at our home! For a couple of months she has slowly been more and more interested in using the toilet and suddenly she just started telling me before she wet her diaper! So I just started putting her on the toilet, then one day she pooed on it! We all piled into the car and got her new underwear at Target, she loves wearing them! Day two and she only had one accident! My head is spinning..... can this be true! She isn't even 2 yet!?!?! It's wonderful and so unlike the boys! She has been so easy! Time will tell how all this works out..... she is very young still. :)

Kai and Noah are enjoying school. The Thanksgiving holiday is about here. Noah has been singing songs in the car that he is learning for their school Thanksgiving party. He makes me laugh! He loves music.... dancing, singing, jumping, clapping and wiggling to music!
Kai I think is still trying to find his groove in first grade. He has good friends and is reading, doing math and spelling well he just is really emotional lately. I honestly think he's tired. His school days are full and 2 days a week we also have swimming. Still, he's coming home with good reports and a smile. Takeshi plans to take Kai out on a daddy/Kai morning tomorrow. They will get food and play some soccer together and visit the Lego store in Bellevue. This will be good for Kai, he likes 1 on 1 time.

They grow up too fast!